Does it feel like you’ve been dating the same guy for the last ten years? You know the type. The guy who’s “just not ready to commit,” “not looking for anything serious,” or “isn’t sure why they’re dating beyond the hope of regular sex.” That’s because you probably are!

Research suggests that 50% of singles aren’t looking for anything when dating, 10% of singles are looking for something casual and 26% of singles don’t know what they’re looking for at all. This means 86% of singles are not looking to seriously date. So, if you want to find someone in the 14% of “serious daters”, you had better be asking the right questions.

To help us get to the 14%er’s with our sanity still intact, Syd is sitting down with dating and “vetting” coach, DM Woods to discuss how to ask the right questions to weed out all the wrong men.

DM Woods is a best-selling author, speaker and dating coach who is disrupting the dating world by breaking the limiting beliefs, circles of frustration, and confusion surrounding modern dating.

Want to Connect with DM?

Send DM a Private Message and mention “Sugar Free Podcast” for discounts.


Why is vetting important when dating?

Vetting is important because research suggests that only 14% of singles are looking for a serious relationship and even less than that are looking for marriage. If your goal in dating is to find marriage or a serious relationship, then it’s very important that you ask very specific questions at the beginning of a dating interaction to quickly and efficiently weed out singles who aren’t looking for marriage or a serious relationship.

Vetting very early in the dating process is also very important because people are most likely to provide honest answers to your questions before they know anything about you. “Mirroring” is a very common phenomenon where potential suitors will say what they think you want to hear to earn your favor and build a relationship with you rather than tell you their honest feelings. Asking the questions before a person knows anything about you means that it’s less likely that the person will tell you what you want to hear, because he/she doesn’t know what you want to hear yet.

What is your process or system for vetting?

My process or system for vetting includes 5-7 very targeted/specific questions designed to identify a person’s goals in dating, to be asked at the beginning of a dating interaction, ideally before the first date.

 What is the first question we should ask in our vetting process?

The first question you should ask when vetting is: “I’m curious, what are you ultimately looking for or hoping to build to, romantically?” This question is very effective for a few reasons: (1) It’s not quite the standard question and so respondents are less likely to provide a ‘canned’ responseIt’s less intimidating than asking, “do you want to get married?”; (3) The response to the question will allow you to determine the individual’s intentions for dating

Why do most singles struggle with vetting?

Most singles struggle with vetting because they are scared to ask the questions that might prematurely end a dating interaction. Most people want to connect with other people and don’t want to do anything that might limit their opportunity for connection.

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Hosts & Guests

Sydnee Mack (Host)

DM Woods  (Guest)




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