According to research, men orgasm three times as much as women during heterosexual partnered sex. In terms of percentage, roughly 91% of men verses 39% of women report that they “usually” or “always” reach orgasm as a result of heterosexual intercourse. This data represents the “orgasm gap.” Well ladies, it’s 2022 and it’s time we take back our power, own our sexual pleasure and close the gap.

This week, join Syd, as she sits down with sexologist, Goody Howard, MSW, MPH as they discuss how to take ownership of your sexual pleasure. Whether you choose to love men, or women or both, Goody provides all the tips and tricks you need to increase your pleasure in the bedroom and beyond.

Goody is a world-renowned sexologist, educator, and consultant. She has dedicated her life to “Empowering through sexual exploration, education, and awareness.

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Get 20% OFF: Use Code SUGARFREE for 20% off toys, Goody Gear, and workshop replays. The discount code cannot be used to for live workshops.

Show Notes

According to research, men orgasm three times as much as women during heterosexual partnered sex. In terms of percentage, roughly 91% of men report that they “usually” or “always” reach orgasm as a result of intercourse. Yet, only 39% of women say that they “usually” or “always” reach orgasm during or as a result of heterosexual intercourse. This data represents the “orgasm gap.”

Why do men orgasm more frequently than women in heterosexual relationships?

Men experience orgasm more frequently because they are conditioned from a very young age to recognize sex and sexual exploration as a normal, healthy, natural part of life; whereas, women are conditioned to feel shame surrounding sexual exploration, sensuality and pleasure. As a result, many women struggle to experience pleasure in even non-sexual contexts. When women learn how to allow themselves to experience pleasure more easily, they will be able to experience sexual pleasure more frequently/easily as well.

How do we communicate sexual needs to our partner(s) without being critical?

The best way to communicate needs in the bedroom is to show by doing. Show your partner what you like by pleasuring yourself while your partner watches.  Then use your hands to help guide them toward your pleasure points. Showing verses telling your partner what you need in the bedroom promotes team building and healthy communication.

How do we increase our confidence in the bedroom?

There are three things that Goody recommends to boost bedroom confidence:

  • 1. Pleasure Yourself First: The best way to increase your confidence in the bedroom is through self-pleasure. Knowing what feels good to you, helps you to show up confidently in the bedroom.
  • 2. Condoms to Promote Cleanliness: Maintaining good vaginal health and a balanced PH also increases confidence in the bedroom. Knowing that your vagina is clean and smelling good helps you to feel sexy. Using condoms will help your vagina maintain a healthy PH balance because semen is designed to disrupt your PH. You should also use condoms on fingers prior to placing them in the vagina or make sure hands are washed very well with nails clipped down to nubs.
  • 3. Always Use Lube: Because the body’s natural lubricant is water-based, it is designed to evaporate. Use lubricant to enhance pleasure and to avoid any issues with maintaining wetness during intimacy. Lubricant also helps to reduce friction which also makes sex more pleasurable.

How do we maintain vaginal health and a balanced PH while sexually active?

  • Do not wash the inner parts of the vagina with soap. Clean the vagina with water only. Only use soap on the outer portions of the vagina where hair grows.
  • Be mindful of sexually transmitted allergens. Particles from the saliva and semen can be transferred to the vagina during oral or vaginal sex. If you have a partner who smokes, drinks, eats…etc. and you don’t or who recently ate nuts and you’re allergic to nuts, then those particles can be transferred to the vagina orally or through semen during sex. To avoid this, use condoms and avoid having oral sex for at least 3-5 days after the allergen has been ingested.

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Hosts & Guests

Sydnee Mack (Host)

Goody Howard, MSW, MPH  (Guest)




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